


Helpful

by Davechicken



Series: The Pilot and his Knight [52]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Death is Shara, M/M, tagging to be safe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-21
Packaged: 2018-08-16 14:29:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8105953
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken
Summary: Five times Ben helped Poe, and one time he didn't.





	

Ben didn’t always know that he was using the Force. How could he? When he was really little, it was just like seeing light, or burning fingers on a stove. It was just like reaching over to grab a cookie, or yelling real loud when he needed attention.

So the first time he helped Poe he didn’t even realise. 

Poe was climbing a tree to get down a remote controlled ship that had gotten stuck up in the branches. A little girl was crying, and Poe was just being nice like always. 

A bit too nice, because he leaned real far and nearly fell, and no one understood how Poe didn’t tumble to the ground, but grabbed the branch and got helped down (with the ship in his grubby paw). No one saw the pale boy at the side, worried about his helpful friend.

***

The second time was much later. Poe really wanted to go out on the speederbikes for a picnic, but Poe’s dad didn’t think it was a good idea, because he hadn’t checked the place they wanted to go.

Ben quietly convinced him - with words - and… maybe a bit of cajoling… that it would be fine.

As it turned out, it was. Ben felt vaguely uncomfortable after.

***

The third time might not have been the third time but Ben did not really count them. But this time, Poe was determined to make his ship work. It was a little one his mother had said he could fly if he could make it air-worthy, and Poe had been _determined_ to get it going on his own. 

But. You know. Poe wasn’t a mechanic. Ben wasn’t, really, unless you counted Dad’s lessons as anything. (Ben did not.) But he _could_ feel for things out of place, or listen, and he gently pushed the tools to his hand that he thought would nudge him in the right direction to get it going.

It did work.

*** 

The fourth time, Poe was crying. Everyone was crying, but Poe most of all. Into his sleeve, into his hands, all over his shirt. 

It was _agony_ to be around him like that. **Agony**. Poe’s heart was breaking, and Ben couldn’t bear it. He knew what it felt like after you had done crying, the cold, empty, hollowness. He thought it was better, so he pushed him down the line to that place, instead.

He told himself it wasn’t selfish.

Poe had grieved enough.

*** 

The fifth time, Poe wavered. Foot to foot, eyes unsure.

Should I go. Should I go. Should I go.

He’d wanted to go and train to be a pilot for as long as Ben could remember. It was - it was _who he was_ \- he was going to be a pilot, and Ben - hah - was _supposed_ to be a Jedi. 

But Ben didn’t want to be a Jedi, and Poe knew something was wrong.

 _But you have to go, don’t stay for me_.

The push took some doing. Even though his desire to fly was so strong, his affection was just as fierce, and it was horrible to unfasten some of those bonds to set him free, to give him the life he’d always wanted.

Ben _definitely_ grieved that night. He’d done the right thing, the _Jedi_ thing, but he cried into his pillow at the loss of his friend and refused to eat for two whole days.

***

The next time they met… it wasn’t Ben. It was someone else.

Someone who had known him, but didn’t any more. Someone who was dead, or… not. It was confusing, and hard.

He slipped into his head without permission, but he didn’t bother to hide it, like he had all those other times. Made his presence _felt_.

Made sure he _knew_ this wasn’t… he wasn’t… he wasn’t _Ben_.

Ben was gone.

Only Kylo remained.

And Kylo? He didn’t need to hide a thing.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Unhelpful](https://archiveofourown.org/works/8150500) by [Davechicken](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Davechicken/pseuds/Davechicken)




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